Etc

4 great things in my life right now:

- the joy I have going to the same bar (cafe, since cafes are called bars here) everyday to see the most gorgeous man in existence. I walk in and he smiles and knows my order (not that an espresso is hard to remember, but it's that he remembers my face) :D

-a car is called a macchina (mok-een-ah), which literally translates to machine. So when Italians speak in English about their car, they say machine. I smile every time. Just like when they say disco. Hahaha

-I've had no hot water in my apartment for 3 days and got fed up and managed to fix the water heater myself!! I'm so proud! Now my showers are ultra hot and I love it! After my shower, I ate a piece of chocolate that has little fortune/notes in the wrapper. Today's said "you'll get a lot of joy out of simple things today."

-today is the warmest day since I've been in Europe. No jacket necessary. And the snow is running down the mountain like a river.

I have many other joys but those by far are my four top favorites. Work is good. I work approx 13 hours a day and I'm learning a lot. I'm doing a lot of bread making, dough rolling, and pastry type of activities which is great because I have absolutely no experience with that. In the down time, or when Betty doesn't want me messing up her perfect dough ;), help out with whatever I can. Shucking oysters, cleaning and breaking down squid, cooking Parmesan rind and pounding it in to dust(yes, its possible people. And delicious. Save your rinds!). I have nasty fingernails again, a big blister on my thumb from the oven and a gash on my index finger that sends off a tingly feeling in my thumb when i touch it (I'm thinking nerve damage?). And I love it! My hands are back to normal!! Yes!!

Living and working here definitely has its ups nd downs and I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster, but for the most part, San Marino and my work is really growing on me. The people I work with are great and extremely dedicated to their craft. Everyone wants to be there and produces dishes to the best of their ability every time. The speed and sryle of restauant is a lot different from and what im used to, but I'm welcoming the change. I wish that I could understand all of what is said in the kitchen because I feel that I could do a better job with knowing what's going on. I'm trying my best and working hard but I have to base everything on what I see because I can't understand the words. Every night, I leave work frustrated, thinking that I could be doing a better job, knowing that I'm capable of doing a better job, but feel stuck. I know what I am capable of and I know I could be doing better. It's so hard to be at my full potential when I have absolutely no idea what's going on around me. I watch, I interpret, and I repeat exactly what they do. Over and over and over. Because listening to any explanation on how to do something won't help. Watch, interpret, repeat. Watch, interpret, repeat. It's exhausting but I wake up and want to do what I just did the day before, but even better. I'll get it eventually. They say I'm doing a good job and they compliment me on being non stop. But I know I can do more. I want to do more. I want to understand. Ahh! I need to be patient, I know. Patience is not one of my best qualities.

I want to write more but my iPad is about to die. For now, I'll just relax at this bar and stare at the gorgeous man before I go back to work :)