2.22.2013

New beginnings

I want to write. And I want to write something good. Something worthwhile. I'm not traveling anymore but that doesn't mean my life isn't exciting and that nothing is happening. Infact, my life is full of adventure. Still. In America, at home, living with my parents, my life's still full of adventure. And I guess that just means its all in how you look at it. I don't know about you but my glass is half full.... I know, ask me this question on a Tuesday morning (when my work week starts at 6am) and I might say something different. But in the long run, in the big picture, in my absolute calm state of mind, my glass is half full. Maybe 3/4 full. Because my life long dreams (yes, I know I'm only 24) have been seen, accomplished, lived. I traveled to Europe, all around Europe, and struggled, felt, explored, and loved every minute of it. I came home and fell deeply in love with someone on the other side of the world, where I JUST came back from after discovering so much about myself, the world, people and life. I was compelled to go back to Europe, making the best decision of my life because I successully took the risk of following love and not my career, which I had always sworn against. But it was the best decision I've made. I fell even deeper into a relationship that seemed so unrealistic and yet so possible and also so very easy. I came back and not only married the man of my dreams that I took with me from Europe but also planted my feet flat on the ground, back wherei started yet completely different, and worked. I cooked with new information, new knowledge and most importantly, a whole new confidence that I had never felt before.i finally felt like one of the other cooks. Like I knew just as much, if not maybe a hair more, than everyone around me. It was the first time I felt like could be put on any station and actually survive AND produce good food. I always had a insecurity: not feeling equal in my experience/knowledge to successfully cook as well as the others. And maybe that's my own insecurity. Or MAYBE it's something all cooks go through and either we naturally hit a point where we finally feel stable and confident or we have experienced something greater than we ever imagined and we just feel more comfortable without own instincts. Imaging with the latter. I just feel more comfortable with myself and my cooking skills. Ask me to cook apiece of fish, create a salad, plate a pasta, season a steak, or whatever and I know exactly what to do. Maybe it's not perfect but I feel comfortable doing it. And maybe these things sound easy to you, but to a cook, it's a completely different level of expectation. Whatever, I feel comfortable, whereas before, would doubt myself or question whether or to tis was the right way or if I even KNEW how to do it. I've come a long way.i am a cook. I feel it. It's in my blood. And although I considered changing careers after coming back from Europe (wine service, mangement, something that makes more money), I can't happily stray from cooking. I can't disown what's so natural,what flows through me, what I think about, dream about, smell and place on a pedestal. I can't. So I returned to more cooking where ive learned authentic Italian cooking at Angelini sinceive been back. But now I'm on a new adventure. I am the new sous chef at cliffs edge in silverlake. I've never been a sous chef and that restaurant has never had a sous chef.so I guess it's a new experience for us all. :) I'm ready. Bring it. I'm scared,I'm prepared, I'm nervous, I'm confident, I'm everything a newbie should be. I'm fresh blood again. I love new beginnings