Maybe it's an off day or maybe it's just me but I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, not in a good way. The reality of having to live in Italy for the next unknown amount of time, not knowing the language, and being away from the comforts of home AND Ashleigh AND not traveling around like I have been for the last month is just not a settling feeling right now. I know what you're thinking. I'm in Rome. I should be having the time of my life. But my reality is a snowy and busy city, filled with people freaking out because they aren't used to snow either. Half of everything is closed or blocked off because of the weather while I am trying my best just to stay warm. I escape the cold weather outside and come home to a COLD hostel, therefor not escaping at all. Cold hostel, and the other hostels in the area dont have great reviews either. Haha... Of all the places it could've snowed while I was traveling, it snows here. Really?? Really!?! I do love Rome and I've seen the most beautiful things here, more beautiful than any other city I've been in. I'm walking through an alley way and a random piazza appears with larger than life statues or fountains or ruins. Hands down, the most breathtaking. No other city I've been to looks quite like Rome. Truly one of a kind. BUT.... I think I would enjoy it better in the spring or summer. When the natural circumstances are different. It's hard to enjoy a city I know I would appreciate more at a later time.
But it's not just the weather. It's the realization that I know all of maybe 10 words in Italian and I know nothing about their way of life. Yes, I can learn, and learn I will. But it's discouraging to know I'm at the very very beginning. There isn't much more of a beginning than where I am right now. Haha. And then I think of home, and how EASY it is to live and get around and do whatever I want or need because I'm used to it. It makes me miss my own bed, shower, room, kitchen, car, etc. ahhhhh, I'm just having a moment. Let me have my moment of ridiculousness. Anyone that has traveled outside of the US knows how I feel right now.
Think what you want, call me an idiot. Fine. Haha but I'm just pretty frustrated. I've gained so much strength and I still find myself needing more. Or clarity just to appreciate what I have in front of me and forget all the other non sense. Either way, I need rest and to recharge my batteries.
Good night big beautiful world